For the sake of shifting what we believe about behavior, it is important to recognize our bias and what we believe about attention seeking behavior. Attention seeking behavior is connection seeking behaviors. So often we fill the void about attention seeking behaviors with statements that assume a sense of selfishness with the student:
"They want all the attention and no one else around them can have it"
"They don't get enough attention at home so this is why they act like that"
"They just want everything to be about them and no one else can have a turn"
It is important that when we think about attention seeking behaviors we understand that underneath these disruptive behaviors there is a child looking for connection. Connection with their environment, surroundings and people. When we see connection over attention, we shift away from punitive consequences or response behaviors that involve ignoring.
So, let's talk about ignoring. I think so often ignoring has become the only strategy or the 'go to' strategy we use whenever we have an attention seeking student. We don't want to reinforce the negative behavior, however when we ignore low-level behaviors they eventually increase to be highly disruptive, aggressive or dangerous behaviors we eventually have to intervene in. Which inadvertently reinforces the negative behavior at a more intense level. See the vicious cycle we create? I would rather give attention to a low-level, behavior in hopes to meet a student closer to baseline where I can teach and reinforce the proactive skills we have been working on.
For many attention seeking students, they can develop such a cycle of wanting attention that when we continually ignore and not find an appropriate replacement behavior, many students revert to wanting any attention whether it is positive or negative. What students eventually find is that the negative attention provides them the reaction from the adults in the environment that continues to reinforce the negative cycle. Students then lose sight of how they feel about themselves when they receive positive attention.
Acknowledgment and attention are the most powerful reinforcers. We as adults need continual attention from the people in our lives to thrive! The attention may be a venting session to your significant other, plan a fun activity with your friend, reconnect with an old co-worker over a face time call or spend time with your siblings on a Sunday afternoon. Whatever the method, we all want and thrive off feeling connected to those around us and have developed healthy habits to access that connection. However, often times the attention seeking behaviors students show can be disruptive to the learning environment. So how do we give student's the connection they need, but also continue to teach?
1.) Check in and check out: assign a designated person to check in with the student in the morning to review their behavior goals, build a relationship or spend time with the student in a regulatory way. Have that same person check out with the student at the end of the day. This allows the student to have predictable touch points to start and end their day.
2.) Attention card: ever have a student who just needs some reassurance or you to sit with them temporarily to encourage them? Create an 'I need attention' card so they can hand to their teacher or request to see someone else in the building when they are craving that extra attention.
3.) Various times for connection: plan various times of the day where staff members are going and checking in on the student by sitting with them in class, walking them to lunch, playing a game with them in the hall or calling a relative at a certain time of day. Building in times for connection from various people helps to build a community of support around the student.
4.) Name and praise: verbal acknowledgement where we name the behavior we like to see and praise it provides behavior-specific feedback to the student and reinforces the probability to increase that behavior. For example: "student, I love the way you got started on your work right away. Thank you!" Often times it is not abut what behavior we are praising, but more that we are recognizing them in a way that they find reinforcing.
5.) Break pass for a person: create a break pass for the student so they can request a break paired with a preferred staff member at various times of the day. This will teach the student to advocate for themselves when they need connection as well as prevent negative attention seeking behavior through an appropriate use of a break card. This preferred staff member can engage in encouraging or confidence building conversations that they will thrive off of.
6.) Job with a staff member: having students complete jobs around the school with staff members is a great way to build connection, but also plan for movement around the building. This can look like helping the tech person stock printer paper, helping the front office secretary with morning duties, helping the custodian clean up breakfast trash, or helping the PE teacher set up first period gym class. Jobs not only give access to a person, but build a sense of belonging and importance to their role in completing the job.
7.) Peer support: too often we underestimate the power of connecting students with their peers. Increasing times of positive peer influence through group projects, partner work, sitting next to preferred peers or earning extra time with peers for meeting behavioral goals!
8.) Preferred seating near a teacher: sometimes it is as simple as picking a seat near a teacher. Giving a student the option of sitting in their work area or having a designated spot near the teacher's desk or work area that they can choose to go to. Close proximity to a preferred staff member can often be reassuring and give a cue to a staff member that quick verbal praise or connection is needed.
9.) Non-verbal acknowledgement: head nods, eyebrow raises, fist bumps, smiles, taps on the desk, thumbs up! The opportunities for non-verbal praise are endless. Along with incorporating non-verbal praise into your day, I would go even deeper and determine how often you need to provide that. Every 30 45, 60 minutes? Setting a timer on your watch, phone, etc. that alerts you to provide praise on specific increments can be helpful!
10.) Spontaneous call out: often times in the middle of a lesson, instruction or during a whole group activity, acknowledging that student by saying their name to increase their interest in the lesson as well as reminding them you are thinking about them. This can sound like, "I would love to see you all get started on your math problems just like student did the other day when we were working on our math test."
11.) Physical proximity: when the student begins to show pre-cursor, escalating behaviors, walking near the student and increasing the proximity to the student would be an impactful strategy to give the student attention in a subliminal way as well as let them know you see their distress. Following up with a quick 1:1 chat, can often de-escalate the situation and get them back on task or provide you the opportunity to prompt the replacement behavior.
12.) Secret signal: developing a secret hand signal with the student that they can give you in the middle of class when they need help is a great way to encourage connection in an appropriate way!
13.) Mentor: providing the student a mentor allows for a designated person to continue to check in on them, but also helps foster a strong relationship with someone in the building that helps to establish a sense of belonging. Mentors could meet with the student daily or weekly and be another positive support person to provide them attention they need.
14.) Post it note chat: we always underestimate the power of a good post it note. Anytime you are beginning to see a student start to engage in negative attention seeking behaviors in class, slipping them a post it note with an emotion-based, check in question on it. 'Are you ok?' 'What's up?' 'Anything you need from me?' This simple act can keep a student from getting dysregulated and provide them attention before they become too escalated to respond positively to the attention.
15.) What's the replacement?: how do you want the student to gain your attention? Raise their hand? Walk to you and put a hand on your shoulder? Bring you their attention card? Determine an appropriate time to tell a teacher a story? Whatever you decide on the replacement, ensure to teach and make the replacement behavior known to the student. Streamlining 1-2 ways that they can get attention from you or during certain times can help to reinforce the replacement behavior you want in a predictable, systematic way.
16.) Visuals: whatever the replacement behavior is, ensuring you represent that through visuals is important. Whether you tape the visuals to their desk, on a traveling clipboard, embed them into a social story, put them on their lanyard, etc. It is important the student has a quick, visual reminder of how they can get attention that staff could reference and point to.
17.) Daily job within the classroom: assigning a daily job to a student that they keep track of throughout the day is another way to build a sense of purpose and belonging in the classroom and allows the student to feel like you are relying on them to contribute positively to the classroom environment. From passing or collecting papers, being in charge of the lights, running items to the office, getting classroom supplies ready, etc.
18.) 4:1: 4 positives to 1 redirective statement. It is important that those students who often seek out negative attention, begin to feel the attention and praise in positive ways. For many students, they have only received negative attention and that is only what they are responding to. Reworking their confidence and self-worth to allow them to feel the positive attention and that you recognize more of the positive things they do over the negative things. Quick, positive acknowledging statements can change the trajectory of what behaviors they show you to get attention.
19.) Pivot praise: when a student is beginning to show you lower level signs of negative attention seeking behavior, providing a pivot praise to redirect the negative behavior and remind them of the positive behavior that is more desirable. "Hey, remember earlier when you finished all of your reading assignment, I was so proud of you. I want to see you do that again!" A pivot praise allows you to remind the student how they have received attention for positive behaviors before by pivoting the lower level negative behavior back to other behaviors you desire to see.
20.) Spend time in another classroom: building in predictable times of the day for the student to go to another classroom and be a peer mentor or helper for a teacher and another set of students. This allows the student to begin to give others positive attention through their behaviors, gives them another set of people to give them attention as well as allows them to feel good about the help they are giving other students!
21.) Engage the student in your lesson design: finding creative ways to engage the student in your lesson design or during instruction can increase their motivation to want to engage and keep negative attention-seeking behaviors at bay. Ask them to model something for the class, have them click through your powerpoint slides as you instruct, have them pass out materials for an upcoming assignment, direct classroom questions to that student to answer, have them collect papers that need to be graded! Small, intentional shifts in how we engage students in our lesson allows them the extra attention to meet their function of behavior.
22.) Connect with their hobby: allow them time to showcase a talent, hobby, special item or something they feel they are good at to you! Plan a time for them to bring something in from home or bring in photos of them doing something they enjoy outside of school.
23.) Build their confidence: so often students with attention seeking behavior struggle with their own confidence or having low-self esteem. They overcompensate by seeking out attention from others to validate themselves. Using statements that help to improve their self-confidence and building them up to understand their worth is important!
24.) Journal: creating a journal, daily log or notebook that you can write back and fourth with the student in is an easy way to connect with them. A notebook can give the student something to look forward to write in and provide connection through the anticipation of you writing them back.
25.) Verbalize their feelings: get students to begin verbalizing their feelings and requesting what they need by prompting them with 'I statements'. For example: "I feel _____ I need ______" and provide connection seeking strategies they can request. Often times, when students verbalize their feelings to you and we provide sympathetic statements, a quick hug or have a 1:1 conversation we reinforce an appropriate attention seeking behavior and allow a healthy outlet for students to express themselves.
Attention seeking behaviors involve creating a sense of collaboration and community around a student. All interventions involve intentional touch points or strategies that connect students to their peers, teachers, staff or building. The next time you work with a student with attention seeking behaviors, ask yourself, "how can I make this student feel connected to those around them?"